搞笑英文个性签名
1、我不要地久天长，只要你给我的幸福。
I don't last forever, as long as you give me happiness.
2、千里马常有，而母千里马不常有。
Chollima often, but not always a mother.
3、找不到我喜欢的伞，我宁愿淋湿。
I can't find my umbrella, I prefer to get wet.
4、独在异乡为异客，每逢加班倍思亲。
All alone in a foreign land, work overtime every pro.
5、只要你愿意，我可以一直在你身边。
I can always be there for you if you like.
6、甜言蜜语听多了会得糖尿病。
Sweet talk will lead to diabetes.
The failure of others is my joy.
8、再过一百年，我也会长成参天大葱。
In another one hundred years, I will grow into a towering green onion.
9、不看你终身遗憾，看你遗憾终身。
Do not look at you lifelong regret, see you regret life.
10、狐狸未成精，纯属骚的轻。
The fox is not pure, is pure Sao light.
11、别对我用美人计，否则我将计就计。
Don't treat me with beauty, otherwise I will.
12、天生一副小人相，额尖面窄嘴舌长。
Born with a small villain, the tip of the narrow surface, mouth long tongue.
13、想找人崇拜的时候，我会去照镜子。
When I'm looking for someone to worship, I'll look in the mirror.
14、情人节不收礼，收礼只收男朋友。
Valentine's Day gifts, gifts received only boyfriend.
15、我肩膀好痒，好像是要在长翅膀了。
My shoulders itch so much that I seem to be growing wings.
16、无风吹大浪，梗有人上当。
No wind blows big waves, and some people fall into the trap.
17、打是亲，骂是爱，爱得不够用脚踹！
Playing is close, scolding is love, love is not enough, kicking with your feet!
18、小时候难过会哭，长大后难过会笑。
When I was a child, I would cry, and I would laugh when I grew up.
19、人生就像卫生纸，没事尽量少扯。
Life is like toilet paper. Try not to pull it out as much as possible.
20、锄禾日当午，我是锄禾，你是当午。
ChuHeRiDangWu, I am Chuhe, you are as.
21、路见不平一声吼，吼完继续往前走。
At the sight of injustice with a roar, roar end go on.
22、有时候，与其多心，不如少根筋。
Sometimes, rather than more, less muscle.
23、爱人不必太完美，是你便足以！
Love doesn't have to be perfect, it's you!
24、喝最烈的酒，去最好的医院抢救。
Drink the strongest wine and go to the best hospital.
25、毛爷爷脸红的时候最值钱。
Grandpa Mao is most valuable when he blushes.
26、親愛的，寶貝詠遠愛妳。
Baby, baby, love you far.
27、内裤就像知识，看不见，但很重要。
Underwear is like knowledge, invisible, but very important.
28、赚别人的钱，让贫穷见鬼去吧。
Earn other people's money, and let poverty go to hell.
29、只要我有吃肉，你就有骨头啃。
As long as I eat meat, you have bones to eat.
30、你让我明白暗恋原来是这么一回事。
You make me understand that unrequited love is like this.
31、不管多累多困，都会想要和你聊天。
No matter how tired or sleepy you may want to talk to you.
32、我要和你幸福的度过每一天的时光。
I want to spend every day with you happily.
33、一时的冲动，子孙的危机！
A momentary impulse; a crisis of posterity!
34、要戒烟，早睡，好好的死。
Give up smoking, go to bed early, and die well.
35、如今的时代，毁掉了做好人的时代。
The times today have ruined the days of good men.
36、我不但手气好，脚气也不错。
I have good luck, beriberi is also good.
37、我从不说谎，除啦这句话以外。
I never lie, except for these words.
38、开自己的店，让别人打工去。
Open your own shop and let other people work.
39、做男人，还是顶比较舒服！
Being a man is still more comfortable!
40、你说走就走你说留就留伱特么真逗。
You go you stay on the left you do really funny.
41、为了做公务员，我生了领导的儿子。
In order to be a civil servant, I gave birth to my son.
42、瞎子看见哑巴对聋子说鬼来了。
The blind man saw the mute man, and said to the deaf man, the devil has come.
43、让我牵着你的手，陪你一起走。
Let me take your hand and walk with you.
44、我可以，在你身边直到地老天荒。
I can be at your side until The end of life.
45、我就两样不行，这也不行，那也不行。
I can't do two things, neither will it, nor will it.
46、你别糟蹋青春两字了，你都立秋了。
Don't waste your youth ", you are the beginning of autumn.
47、女人是水做的，张伟是痰做的！
Women are made of water and Zhang Wei is made of phlegm!
48、鸟大了，什么林子都有。
Birds grow, and what woods do they have?.
49、人之初，性本善，你掏钱，我吃饭。
Men at their birth, good in nature, you pay me for dinner.
50、你若生死相依，我定必死无疑。
If you die I will in life and death.
51、你有什么身份，你就有个身份证。
You have an ID card if you have any status.
52、涐们的故事、始终都是那么旳唯美。
Our story is always so beautiful.
53、你是我的北极星，告诉我前进的方向。
You are my North Star, tell me the way forward.
54、我和你不一样，因为我是人。
I'm different from you, because I'm human.
55、人之初，性本善。考零分，有鸭蛋。
Man's nature at birth is good。 Zero test, duck egg.
56、钱不是问题，问题是没钱！
Money is not a problem, but the problem is money!
57、这两片嘴唇，切切倒有一大碟子。
These two lips have a large plate.
58、连广告也信，读书读傻了吧！
Even advertising, reading, reading silly!
59、我不恨你，因为我压根儿不想记住你。
I don't hate you, because I don't want to remember you at all.
60、妈妈夸我贤惠、闲的什么都不会。
Mother praised me virtuous, idle nothing.
61、有尿当尿直须尿，莫等无尿空抖鸟。
There is urine, urine straight, urine, no urine, empty, shake birds.
62、你给的世界，满满的都是爱。
The world you give is full of love.
63、一闪一闪亮晶晶，满天都是狐狸精。
Twinkle, twinkle fox.
64、天生下来的是雨，而不是天才！
It is rain, not genius, that is born!
65、将薪比薪的想一下，算了，不想活了。
Think about the salary, forget it, and don't want to live.
66、国庆无限好励志网http://wWw.qqZf.cN/，只是近月考。
National Day is infinitely good, just for the coming months.
67、睡觉是测试老师教学水平最好的工具。
Sleeping is the best tool for testing the teacher's teaching level.
68、家事国事天下事，没钱吃饭是大事！
Family affairs, state affairs, no money, eating is a big thing!
69、这个人很懒，什么都没留下。
The man was lazy and did not leave anything behind.
70、爱我的请举手，不爱我的请倒立。
Love me, please raise your hand, don't love me, please stand upside down.
71、我不想娶老婆老婆却娶了我。
I don't want to marry my wife, but my wife married me.
72、喝醉了我谁也不服，我只扶墙。
Drunk, I refuse to accept anyone, I only support the wall.
73、思想有多远，你就给我滚多远！
How far is the thought, how far will you roll me?!
74、要不是骗子太多，我早把肾给卖了！
If it hadn't been for the liar, I'd have sold my kidney!
75、你让我红了眼眶，我却还笑着原谅。
You make me red eyes, but I still smile to forgive.
76、喜欢的东西好像都难以留住，比如钱。
Like things seem difficult to retain, such as money.
77、我们打勾勾、我会陪你到地老天荒。
We wanted to invite, I will accompany you to the The end of life.
78、上班的心情比上坟还沉重。
A mood that is heavier than grave.
79、人是铁，饭是钢，骨头里面没有汤。
Man is iron, rice is steel, and there is no soup in the bones.
80、梦里梦见的人，醒来就该去睡了他。
Dream of the people, wake up, should go to sleep with him.
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