搞笑英语个性签名
1、不要对姐姐笑，姐一笑装就掉。
Don't laugh at your sister.
2、路见不平一声吼，吼完一声继续走。
At the sight of injustice with a roar, roar end sound to go.
3、真正的吃货敢于直面粗壮的大腿。
The real chowhound dare to face the strong thigh.
4、说好了不动情，我却动了心。
Say yes, not emotional, but I moved the heart.
5、活鱼会逆流而上，死鱼则随波逐流。
The fish will swim upstream, dead fish.
6、天空不留下鸟的痕迹，但我已飞过！
The sky does not leave a trace of birds, but I have flown!
7、老娘法眼一开就知道你是个妖孽了。
Hogan opened his aging mother know you are an evildoer.
8、世态炎凉鸡最懂，人情冷暖鸭先知。
The fickleness of the world most understand the chicken, ducks Men's feelings are changeable.
9、别人笑我穿的厚，我笑他人冻得透。
Others laugh at me to wear thick, I laugh, others cold enough.
10、你家的户口本就是一动物百科。
Your household register is an encyclopedia of animals.
11、其实，我不是胖，只是懒得瘦。
In fact, I am not fat, but I am too lazy to lean.
12、无论爱你有几深，买粒钻石最君真。
No matter how deep you love, buy a diamond is the most true.
13、距离产生的不是美，是小三。
Distance does not produce beauty, it is little.
14、问世间情为何物，只叫人拖去衣裤。
Ask the world for what it is, only let people drag underwear.
15、江山如此多娇，引无数小三竟犯骚。
The land is so rich, it attracts so many folk.
16、真不好意思，让您贱笑了。
I'm sorry to make you laugh.
17、我很懒懒得连心里的那个人都懒的换！
I'm lazy. I don't like the man in my heart who is lazy!
18、我们的爱容不下其他人。
Our love does not hold anyone else.
19、有钱身后一群狗，没钱寸步都难走。
The money behind a pack of dogs, no money to go around.
20、你就是堕胎失败的最好例子！
You're the best example of abortion failure!
21、我喜欢的人啊他有一身的温暖。
I like people, he has a body of warmth.
22、爱一个人的全部，包括她的棉毛裤。
Love all of a person, including her cotton trousers.
23、我爱的人也很爱我，很幸福。
I love the people also love me, very happy.
24、最近，穷得连耗子都含泪搬家了。
Recently, the poor mice moved in tears.
25、我也想看轻自己，可我的体重不允许。
I want to underestimate yourself, but my weight is not allowed.
26、多吃芹菜不用问，降低血压喊得应。
Eat celery, do not ask, lower blood pressure, shouted should be.
27、开往地狱的火车，已启程，请勿扰。
The train bound for hell, left, please not faze.
28、能动手，就尽量别吵吵。
Dynamic, try not to make a lot of noise.
29、一脸兴冲冲的，跟喝了尿糖似的。
A face excitedly, with drink urine like.
Friendship once serious, than love is still engraved on my heart.
31、拿菜刀砍电线，一路火花帶闪电。
Take a kitchen knife, cut the wire, all the sparks and bolts of lightning.
32、海阔凭鱼跃，破鼓任人捶。
Wide sea diving, broken drum to beat.
33、钱乃一味良药，有明目张胆之功效。
Money is a good medicine, but it has no telling effect.
34、初恋无限好，只是挂得早。
First love is infinitely good, but it hangs early.
35、有了你，黑暗不再是黑暗。
The darkness is no darkness with thee.
36、忍无可忍，就重新再忍。
The patience is over.
37、自己的媳妇哄着惯着不丢人，这叫爱。
The wives of their wives are accustomed to shame, which is called love.
38、你那么讨人喜欢叫我怎么不爱你。
How can I not love you when you are so lovable?.
39、未来的儿子，快告诉我你爹的方向。
Son of the future, tell me the direction of your father.
40、脑袋空不要紧，关键是不要进水。
Head empty does not matter, the key is not to enter the water.
41、男人的胸怀都是被委屈撑大的！
Men's hearts are wronged to support the big!
42、小明吃了麻婆豆腐被麻婆一刀捅死。
Xiao Ming had a knife stabbed to death by Mapo Tofu mapo.
43、踏遍青楼人未老，请用汇仁肾宝。
People all over the brothel is not old, please use Huiren shenbao.
44、有人疼才显得多么出众。
How extraordinary it is when someone hurts.
45、文能看书挤地铁，武能挤地铁看书。
Wen can read books, squeeze the subway, Wu can squeeze the subway reading.
46、我选择爱你，而你，却选择爱她。
I have chosen to love you, but you have chosen to love her.
Cover up sadness, loneliness, sigh, the first experience of love.
48、有钱要懂得假装，没钱要懂得包装。
Money knows how to pretend. Without money, you have to know how to pack.
49、给我一个支点，我能撬走你女友。
Give me a fulcrum, I can pick up your girlfriend.
50、装要装的有内涵，骚要骚的有味道。
Pretend to be loaded with content, Sao, Sao to have a taste.
51、土是用来挖的，坑是用来埋你的。
The earth is for digging, and the pit is for you.
52、哥看的不是月亮，是嫦娥！
What brother looks at is not the moon, but also the goddess of the moon!
53、人生自古谁无死，啊个拉屎不用纸！
Since ancient times, who does not die, ah, shit, no paper!
54、把你的铁石心肠含在我的樱桃小口中。
Put you in my heart of stone containing cherry small mouth.
55、顾客不是上帝，顾客只是上当。
The customer is not God, the customer is just being duped.
56、早知道他不是好东西，就是忘了说了。
I knew he was not a good thing, but I forgot to say it.
57、干掉熊猫，我就是国宝！
Kill the panda. I'm the national treasure!
58、理想很丰满，现实却很骨感。
The ideal is full, the reality is very skinny.
59、青山依旧在，只是有点红。
The green hills are still here, only a little red.
60、我是该有多幸运，才能够认识了你。
How lucky I am to be able to meet you.
61、我不是随便的人，我随便起来不是人。
I'm not a casual person. I'm not up to anybody.
62、从天堂到地狱，我路过人间！
From heaven to hell, I pass the world!
63、时间告诉我，除了快递谁都不必等。
Time told me, in addition to express, who do not have to wait.
64、我的精神分裂好了，我和我都很好。
I'm schizophrenic, and I'm fine with me.
65、我喜欢你，这是永远不会变的事实。
I like you, it's never gonna change.
66、烧香的不一定是和尚，还可能是熊猫！
Burn incense is not necessarily a monk, but also may be a panda!
67、用谎言去测试谎言，得到的只是谎言。
Use lies to test lies, but to get lies.
68、爷爷都是从孙子走过来的。
Grandpa came all the way from sun tzu.
69、像我这么帅的，一旷课就会被发现。
As handsome as I am, a truant will be found.
70、客户虐我千百遍，我待客户如初恋。
Customer abuse me a thousand times, I treat customers like first love.
71、你穿得很危险，但长得很安全。
You're very dangerous, but very safe.
72、飞的越高，摔的越疼，记得带降落伞。
The higher you fly, the more painful you fall, remember to bring your parachute.
73、屎可以乱吃励志网http://wWw.qqZf.cN/，话别给我乱说。
You can eat shit, don't give me.
74、有些课就像南孚电池，一节更比节长。
Some class is like a battery, a more than a long day.
75、读书读到抽筋处，文思方能如尿崩。
Reading, reading cramps, Evans can be like diabetes insipidus.
76、人家是全城热恋我们是全城停电。
The whole city was in love with us. We lost power throughout the city.
77、永不言弃，涐愿与伱至死不渝。
I would never give up, and you will never change until death.
78、学校收钱太快，我妈都怀疑我吸毒了。
The school was collecting money too fast, and my mother suspected that I was taking drugs.
79、别人的钱财乃我的身外之物。
Money is not everything.
80、格式化自己，就是为了删除你！
Format yourself to delete you!
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