2018搞笑英文个性签名短
1、都说女人如水，所以我学会了游泳。
They say women are like water, so I learned how to swim.
2、你在北方冻成鬼，我在南方露大腿。
You froze into ghosts in the north. I exposed my thighs in the south.
3、面子是别人给的，脸是自己丢的。
Face is given to others, the face is lost.
4、其实我是一个天才，可惜天妒英才！
In fact, I am a genius, but unfortunately the envy of excellence!
5、喜欢依赖你，星星依赖夜空般不离弃。
Like to rely on you, the stars rely on the night sky, do not abandon.
6、春困夏乏秋无力，冬日正好眠。
Summer Chunkun lack autumn to winter just sleep.
Even if the whole world leaves you, there's another one for me to accompany.
8、你脑袋空不要紧，关键是不要进水。
Your head doesn't matter. The key is not to go in.
9、怕爹是孝顺，怕老婆是爱情。
Fear father is filial, afraid wife is love.
10、士为知己者装死，女为悦己者整容。
For friends who are dead, as a woman who has been Yue cosmetic.
11、要不是打不过你，早就跟你翻脸了。
If I hadn't beat you, I'd have fallen out with you.
12、钱可以解决的问题都不是问题。
Money can not solve the problem is not a problem.
13、我要是不背书包，我能跟你打个平手。
If I don't carry my bag, I can tie with you.
14、我喜欢孩子，更喜欢造孩子的过程！
I like children, and I prefer the process of making children!
15、旧情难忘的男人最恶心。
The old man is the most unforgettable.
16、那个谁，回去撒包尿漱漱口再来吧！
Who's that? Go back and spread your urine and rinse your mouth and come back!
17、一分钱一分货，稀饭吃了不经饿。
A penny a piece of goods, porridge eaten without hunger.
18、路见不平一生吼，吼完继续往前走！
At the sight of injustice life roar, roar end go on!
19、唔嫖又唔赌，盏帮衬药材铺。
Well, go whoring and gamble.
20、人要脸，树要皮，电线杆子要水泥。
Man's face, tree bark, wire pole cement.
21、学霸的梦想，毁在数学之上。
The dream of learning tyrants is ruined by mathematics.
22、千保健，万保健，心态平衡是关键。
Thousands of health care, 10000 health care, balance of mind is the key.
23、经常被自己蠢哭又不能揍自己。
I often cry myself stupid, and I can't beat myself.
24、白天不懂夜的黑，学霸不懂学渣泪。
During the day do not understand the dark night, learning tyrants do not understand the slag tears.
25、女友一说想我，我就知道她又饿了。
When my girlfriend said she wanted me, I knew she was hungry again.
26、长痘是因为我帅的冒泡。
Blain blain is because I am handsome bubble up.
27、小隐隐于朦胧诗，大隐隐于肥皂剧。
Faint faint misty poetry, great hidden in soap operas.
28、人家拿着书本回家复习我是回家预习。
People take books home review, I go home preview.
29、那么想引人注目，去裸奔吧。
Then catch the eye and go streaking.
30、日本说钓鱼岛是它的，结果，海啸了！
Japan says the Diaoyu Islands are its, and as a result, the tsunami!
31、够不着吧，左脚踩右脚上试试。
You can't reach it. Try your left foot on your right foot.
32、爱或者被爱，其实都是一种喜悦。
To be in love or to be loved is actually a joy.
33、你的笑容总是在我脑海中，让我难忘。
Your smile always in my mind, let me remember.
34、学无止境，所以我一直都没有毕业。
Knowledge has no limit., so I am not graduate.
35、你想要飞翔，我做你的避风港。
You want to fly, I'll be your shelter.
36、听君一席话，省我十本书！
Listen to your words, my ten book!
37、跟着你的脚步，走遍天涯海角。
Follow your footsteps and go all the way to the ends of the earth.
38、好好活着，因为我们会死很久！
Live well, for we shall die long!
39、你我之间本无缘分，全靠我颜值死撑。
There is no fate between you and me, it's all up to me.
40、我的袜子全是洞，我的未来不是梦。
My socks are full of holes, my future is not a dream.
41、我这心碎得，捧出来跟饺子馅似的。
I'm so broken hearted that I hold it out like dumplings.
42、力的作用是相互的，除了爱情的力量。
The function of force is mutual, except the power of love.
43、帅的人说话都喜欢说一半，比如。
Handsome people like to say half of what they say, for example.
44、爱我你说，搁在心里多坎坷。
Love me, you say, how hard it is to put it on your mind.
45、一个久伴你的损友，胜过无数狗友。
A long time with your friends, more than thousands of dog friends.
46、我不会为你哭，我的睫毛膏太贵了。
I won't cry for you. My mascara is too expensive.
47、我对着天空说爱你，结果天打雷批。
I say I love you to the sky, but the sky thunders.
48、我对你眨眨眼，你硬说那是放电。
I told you that it was you blink, discharge.
49、别人笑我太淫荡，我笑别人不开放。
Others laugh at me too lewd, I laugh others are not open.
50、这年头情侣一多黄瓜就不好卖了。
These days, a couple of cucumbers are hard to sell.
51、你就是个井，横竖都是二！
You are a well, you are two!
52、不怕被人利用，就怕你没用。
Not afraid of being used, afraid you useless.
53、问世间情为何物，只叫人死不瞑目。
Ask the world what love is, only people in.
54、心里想着要减肥，嘴里却拼命的吃。
I was trying to lose weight, but my mouth was eating like crazy.
55、我想活到新闻联播大结局的那天。
I want to live up to the day when the news comes to an end.
56、骑着驴，横冲直撞进警局。
Riding on a donkey, rampage into the police station.
57、女为悦己者容，男为悦己者穷！
The woman is pleased for herself, and the man is pleased himself!
58、天苍苍野茫茫，你吃草我吃糖。
Gray wild boundless, you eat my candy.
59、毁谁不是毁，灭谁不是灭。
Destroy who is not destroyed, destroy who is not destroyed.
60、追不到你大概是因为我腿短。
Don't catch up to you, probably because of my short legs.
61、尘归尘，土归土，挥手告别二百五。
Dust to dust, soil to earth, waved farewell two hundred and fifty.
62、八戒，又在偷看为师的说说啦。
Eight quit, and in the "peeping" as a teacher.
63、此地禁止大小便，违者没收工具。
Defecation and confiscation of tools are prohibited here.
64、兄弟重如泰山，媳妇至高无上！
Brother is like Taishan, daughter-in-law is supreme!
65、百禽之中你为首，千王之中我为尊。
The bird you headed, I respect qianwang.
66、看在愚蠢的分上，就不说你什么了。
Don't tell me what you are on a stupid score.
67、不吃饱哪有力气减肥啊。
Do not eat enough to lose weight ah?.
68、路见不屈一声吼，吼完持续往前走。
The road sees indomitable one roar, roar continuously, continue to walk forward.
69、没有西瓜的夏天不是好夏天。
Summer without a watermelon is not a good summer.
70、在马路上，开车无难事，只怕有新人！
In the street, driving without difficulty is afraid of new people!
71、针无两头锋利，人无两副身心。
A needle without two edges is sharp, and a man has no two body and mind.
72、先学会不生气，再学会气死人。
Learn to learn to not angry, mad people.
73、国庆先生，别走，我请你吃炫迈。
Mr. day, don't go, I invite you to eat Hyun mai.
74、也许似乎大概是励志网http://wWw.qqZf.cN/，然而未必不见得。
Perhaps, presumably, but not necessarily.
75、有情人终成眷属，有钱人终成痛苦。
Lovers, rich people will become pain.
76、别和我聊人生，和我聊生人吧！
Don't talk about life with me, and I talk!
77、懒懒的呼吸着空气里的所有你的味道。
Lazily Breathing all the smell of you in the air.
78、小鸟虽小，可它玩的确是整个天空。
The bird is small, but it does play the whole sky.
79、避孕的效果：不成功，便成人。
Contraceptive effect: unsuccessful, then adult.
80、如果我死不瞑目，我就赖你。
If I die, I will rely on you.
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