搞笑的英语名言

1、我又不是人民币，怎么能让人人都喜欢我？

I am not RMB, how can I make everyone like me?

2、我以为我很颓废，今天我才知道，原来我早报废了。

I thought I was decadent. Today, I realized that I had scrapped.

3、废话是人际关系的第一句！

Bullshit is the first sentence of interpersonal relationship!

4、帅有个屁用！到头来还不是被卒吃掉！

Handsome has a fart! In the end, it wasn't eaten by pawns!

5、别跟我谈感情，谈感情伤钱。

Don't talk to me about feelings. Feelings hurt money.

6、英雄不问出路，流氓不看岁数。

Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at age.

7、念了十几年书，想起来还是幼儿园比较好混！

After studying for more than ten years, kindergarten is still a good mixer.

8、没有钱，没有权，再不对你好点，你能跟我？

No money, no power, no more hello to you, can you follow me?

9、唯女人与英语难过也，唯老婆与工作难找也。

Only women and English are sad, but wives and jobs are hard to find.

10、人如果靠吃饭活着，那饭不叫饭，叫饲料。

If a person lives by eating, that meal does not call for food, it is called feed.

11、你让我滚，我滚了。你让我回来，对不起，滚远了。

You let me go, I rolled. You let me come back, I'm sorry, get away.

12、想污染一个地方有两种方法：垃圾，或是钞票！

There are two ways to contaminate a place: garbage or money!

13、作为一个怪兽，我的愿望是至少消灭一个奥特曼。

As a monster, my wish is to eliminate at least one Ottoman.

14、令人不能自拔的，除了牙齿还有爱情。

It's hard to pull it out, besides teeth, there's love.

15、如果你借太多的钱给一个人，你会令此人变成坏人。

If you lend too much money to a person, you will turn that person into a bad person.

16、长得真有创意，活得真有勇气！

It's so creative and courageous to live!

17、但两个人相遇，接下来的不是故事就是事故。

But when the two meet, the next thing is not the story or the accident.

18、买了电脑不上宽带，就好比酒肉都准备好了却在吃饭前当了和尚。

Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk before eating when all the meat and wine are ready.

19、英雄难过美人关，我不是英雄，美人让我过了关。

The hero is sorry for the beauty. I am not a hero. The beauty let me pass.

20、婚姻的杀手有时不是外遇，而是时间。

Sometimes the killer of marriage is not an affair, but time.

21、天赐你一双翅膀，就应该被红烧…

God gives you a pair of wings, you should be burned red.

22、不怕被人利用，就怕你没用！

Don't be afraid of being used, just afraid you are useless!

23、别人的钱财乃我的身外之物！

Other people's money is outside my body!

24、只要锄头舞的好，那有墙角挖不倒？

As long as the hoe dances well, can't you dig a corner?

25、不要和我比懒，我懒得和你比。

Don't be lazy with me. I'm lazy with you.

26、真的猛士，敢于直面自己未化妆的脸。

Really fierce man, dare to face his face without makeup.

27、不要吹牛逼、请把牛逼还给牛、因为牛也需要性生活！

Don't boast, please give back the bull, because the bull also needs sex!

28、要在江湖混，最好是光棍！

It's better to be a bachelor if you want to mix in the lakes and rivers.

29、我那么喜欢你，你喜欢我一下会死埃。

I like you so much. If you like me, you will die.

30、喝药递瓶，上吊给绳，跳楼的挥着小手绢送行。

Drug delivery bottles, hanging ropes, jumping off the building waving handkerchiefs to see off.

31、不是变化快，而是你太菜。

It's not fast change, it's your dish.

32、人生自古谁无死，哪个拉屎不用纸！

From ancient times, who has not died, which shit does not need paper!

33、怀才就像怀孕，时间久了才能让人看出来。

Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

34、没有不透风的墙，没有不能上吊的梁。

There are no impervious walls, no beams that cannot be lifted.

35、老娘法眼一开就知道你是个妖孽了。

Lao Niang knows you're a monster as soon as she opens her eyes.